Week 8: Mrs. McCave’s Spellbook
Looking over the list of spell names we’re working from, we see that the only ones remaining are a little difficult to parse at first. Sometimes life gives you nonsense, and you’ve just got to make the best nonsenseade you can. Keep in mind that “David” means something akin to “beloved.”
Fark Mate
After a long and involved ritual, you separate any one thing from another that it had been paired with, although especially strong bonds will resist the spell, and it must be performed again on any bond that has been renewed. By adjusting the ritual’s parameters you might be able to shatter royal alliances, trigger a fission reaction, or open a particularly stuck jar. This spell can not arbitrarily divide a unified whole, though, such as a person’s body parts or an acorn shell.
Charm of the Dave
Craft this charm for someone you love so much it’s hard to put into words; whenever they face injury, disease, or other harm, you may choose to either take the harm upon yourself in their place, or allow the charm to absorb it. In the latter case you both remain unscathed, but their protection is gone until and unless you are able to craft a new one.
Chorus of the Dave
Gather a group of people who care deeply for each other and sing this ritual song together, adjusting the lyrics as appropriate: together you will sing something into existence, whether from materials that have already been gathered or out of thin air. The song must continue for a set number of heartbeats from the assembled group; this number required increases exponentially depending on the complexity and impossibility of the creation.
Hail to the Dave
Chant this spell in the presence of someone whose accomplishments you are able to praise without even a twinge of envy. They become stronger, healthier, more beautiful, more alert and thoughtful, and in general reach a peak of their abilities as your admiration and love boost their body’s capacity to heal itself of wounds, disease, fatigue, and other afflictions great and small. This boost fades slowly over the next day, after which weariness, sickness, and harm may begin to accrue again, but for as long as the magic lingers, a warm and calming glow appears whenever you are together in the same space.
Storm of the Dave
When someone who would die for you is in mortal danger, speak these seven words of power. An overpowering tempest of iridescent light and indescribable almost-musical sound will blow through the area, neutralizing or carrying away whatever is responsible for the threat. Summoning the Storm leaves you exhausted to the point of immobility, but several popular legends tell of lovers who were able to do so twice in a row, in times of dire need.
Daving Fire
Use this dramatic ritual only after the death of someone who would remain in your thoughts every day, no matter what time and distance intervened and no matter what distractions surrounded you; it will only work once in your lifetime, but if the emotion woven into it is pure, a phoenix will arrive before the next sundown and spend the night building its pyre over your beloved. At dawn it will immolate their body along with itself. When the inferno has died down and the ashes have cleared, both will be whole and hale, and back among the living.
Mordenkainen’s Lucubrabibiboricic Angion
DO NOT CAST THIS SPELL.
Color-coded by week. What a trip it’s been!
